“A fact of life Is…”

it does not stop there

Thank YOU

First of all, thank you to new subscribers and followers for choosing to read my writing. I am so grateful for your presence and look forward to setting aside time to read many of your posts as well.

Substack is a wonderful community of which to be a part. I find myself uplifted, brought into new reflections, and also challenged.

My mind keeps going down the path

This piece barely scratches the surface. There is something that needs to be released from me in words, sketchy as this is. I believe, however, they are words that resonate with others, and words that I am trying to somehow wrap around the incomprehensible.

“A fact of life is…”

I cannot stop thinking about a recent statement that began with “A fact of life is…” What followed those three words has been tumbling around in my mind ever since.

The more I thought about it, the more I began to piece together what is always the follow up to “A fact of life is…”.

“A fact of life is…” rarely stands alone. Almost always “the fact of life” changes “a way of life/ways of life.” The fact is rarely the end point.

A fact of life is  - in the eastern US fall is soon arriving. That fact of life creates a shift in the way of life. Summer clothes will be put away. Jackets and sweaters come out. Sometime in the months ahead the heat will get turned on and gatherings will shift more to the indoors.

A fact of life is - my hearing has become less and less over the last number of years. My way of life has been changed by two hearing aids, and without them there are many sounds I no longer hear, even with the best aids. And truly miss.

A fact of life is – there was a cancer diagnosis. The way of life that followed was one drastically altered on various levels from “before the fact” to “after the fact.”

A fact of life is – someone died. The way of life without that person is never the same again.

A fact of life is – a baby is born. The way of life with a new little is a whole new journey.

The examples are infinite, from the tiniest fact of life that changes a way of life in an equally tiny way to facts of life that influence and change ways of life beyond comprehension.

Take a moment of reflection

Write down or ponder a fact of life.

Then write or mentally list the ways of life that are affected by that fact of life.

Write or think of an experience from your own life, a beautiful one or a not so beautiful one, where a fact of life impacted your way of life.  

This has taken on new awareness and attunement for me. I have been journaling about story after story in my own life.

Photo credit - sparklekidz.com

Then – on to life in schools

It is not the first time I have reflected on how “facts of life” have changed the way of life in schools. They happen with every school year, some more notable than others.

In the case of the statement that has been on my mind each day of the past week or so, it was said that school shootings are a fact of life and that schools are soft targets and need to become more secure.

This “fact of life” is one that we cannot afford to ignore, the solution offered being unacceptable to me.

That line of thinking – simply make “soft targets” more secure - in no way acknowledges that the way of life in schools has already become vastly different over the past number of years due to school shootings.

It is a way of life that schools have been forced to create and to which the human beings in them have been called to adjust, ways that have taken away multiple levels of freedom, ways that have compromised presence to education. This “fact of life” has already robbed schools of so much.

It has created a way of life that no child, teacher, administrator or parent should ever, ever have to consider and be alert to on a daily basis.

Changes and impact

I lived the way of life as it changed in schools over the years and it hurts my soul, as it does  millions of others.

Once upon a time, not all that long ago, we could leave classroom doors open to the outdoors, children coming and going from an outdoor play area as an extension of the classroom.

It was a time when classroom doors to the hallway did not ever have to be locked or know how to be locked and blockaded in an instant.

It was a time when “professional development” did not include hours planning and talking about how to protect children should a shooter come into the building; a time figuring out how to communicate that at various age levels in a way that was important and yet with as little instilling of fear as possible.

How is that possible? How do you have lock down drills that include how to block doors and windows and where to herd a group of children in a room without levels of fear being present, depending on the personal sensitivity to violence?

Over my years in schools and through myriad conversations about education, it was acknowledged that for many children from all walks of life, all economic levels, all geographic neighborhoods, and more, that the school and the hours spent there were the safest times for many children.

And now that safety and feeling of safety has been diminished.

Do we truly believe this is the answer?

I ask myself every single day how we got here, to a “fact of life” that school shootings themselves might be seen, much less accepted, as a way of life in this country in our schools.

Photo credit - clipartbest.com

More than buildings

I have not even touched explicitly on the emotional and psychological impacts. Those are almost impossible to measure. While collective on one level, the individual levels are a vast span. They are hard to uncover, especially when existing as an undercurrent that in many ways is quietly present but unexpressed.

In whatever way each of us can, may we act and vote on behalf of our children and educators who spend their days with them, to keep them as safe from guns as possible and guns that do not belong in the hands of anyone out of their hands.

A different thank you

I want to end this barely scratching the surface piece by thanking and honoring those who have chosen to remain in the school leadership and teaching professions. What is being asked of you, of them, on a daily basis is far beyond what should ever have been part of an educator’s life.

It is also true that this was never to be part of the school life of children. That life is meant to be so, so many wonderful things and things of wonder.

May we look to a different solution, to the right solution, rather than buildings, any buildings, being made more secure or having to design more sophisticated ideas for how to protect those in them.

This particular perceived or assumed “fact of life” held by some is not the end of the conversation and I hope is totally unacceptable even as, yes, schools and other places are looking at how to live in the meantime.

We cannot afford the ever-deepening tolls it is taking. It does not matter faith, economic standing, geography, political party, job status, gender, ethnicity, or any other category. It affects all and in every single location in this country.

I dream of a day when this will not be a topic of conversation or writing. In the meantime, I dip into the wells of hope, resilience, presence, comfort, and so many more to navigate what in a million years I never would have imagined. I am so grateful for how these metaphorical wells bring relief and respite from what is so often overwhelming.

I welcome your thoughts.